


'Cause I'm Yours

by FeaRauko



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Dancing, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Shipper!Sam, and then, everyone knew, hunter husbands, inspired by a song, jack's a little confused about it actually, they were just waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 01:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19842631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeaRauko/pseuds/FeaRauko
Summary: Cas steps outside during Sam and Eileen's wedding reception for a breather.Dean follows him.orThat one where Cas is so very tired of pretending that he isn't madly in love with Dean...or as though he can't clearly see the way Dean loves him back.EDIT: winchester-reload made art for the second chapter of this and it's 😍😍😍🙌🙌





	1. Why Can't It Be Like That?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aloha_cowgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloha_cowgirl/gifts).



Cas watched as Sam spun Eileen around the dancefloor. He smiled. Dancing, this thing that he thought of as so tied up in music...was one of her favorite things. She had talked to him about it once. Cas had been so puzzled when Sam said they would have dancing at their wedding. She had said she loved the experience because everyone in the room was also speaking with their bodies, communicating and moving together in a language that they didn’t have to learn but somehow all understood. It was beautiful. “I won’t lie though,” she had laughed as she told Cas, “everyone does look pretty rediculous while they do it. It’s another reason I love it.” Cas watched her now, weaving various signs into her dance movements, telling Sam that she loved him as they moved around each other. Cas smiled.

He scanned the crowd and saw Dean. He was dancing with one of the bridesmaids and the sight made Cas’s chest feel like it was caving in. It didn’t hurt because his love for Dean was unrequited. It hurt because his love so obviously _was_ returned _._

But not in front of people. For the longest, Cas had thought that he was reading into things, that he was simply being hopeful. But he could no longer deny the way Dean was around him, the way his eyes followed him, the way he found silly excuses to touch him, the way his fingers lingered when he did so, the way he licked his lips as his eyes paused on Cas’s. And when they were alone, Dean sat a little closer. His touches lingered a little longer. He hugged Cas a little more. He smiled at him a little wider.

It was infuriating. Because Cas...Cas was so gone on Dean. Yet, for some unknowable reason, and even though Dean seemed to love him too, it wasn’t allowed. Dean was not his. Why couldn’t Dean be his? Because he was Dean’s completely. Every molecule of grace and flesh no longer belonged to its creator. It belonged wholly to this wild, green-eyed hunter that was now dipping another partner. 

Cas stood and walked towards the door. He needed air. He needed a few moments to not have to carefully fix his face as though he didn’t care. It was a small wedding, just the hunter family, but it was suddenly too much of a crowd for Cas. He stepped out and breathed in the night air. He walked around and leaned against the wall outside Jody’s house where Sam and Eileen’s wedding and reception were being held. It wasn’t long before he heard _his_ voice. 

“Cas? Everything okay buddy?” Cas’s insides erupted in a mixture of butterflies and searing pain. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to knock some sense into Dean and then push him up against the wall and kiss him senseless. He wanted to pull him into his arms and hold him until Dean acknowledged that he belonged there, that he fit there, and that no two people had ever needed each other more. But he did none of those things.

“I’m fine, Dean.” He didn’t watch Dean’s reaction. He kept his eyes closed and head leaned back against the wall.

The ground crunched under Dean’s feet and he shuffled them. “Um, okay. I...I’ll see you inside then.”

Cas listened to Dean’s footsteps retreat before sinking to the ground. Angels don’t cry, but Cas had never been a very good angel. He propped an elbow on one knee, put his face in his hand, and let the tears fall. He thought of Sam and Eileen and how happy they were, how beautiful they looked in each others arms twirling around the room. Why couldn’t he and Dean be like that? Why couldn’t he hold Dean’s hand? Why couldn’t he pull Dean close and kiss him in front of their family and God and everyone? Why couldn’t he scream out what everyone already knew...that he loved Dean Winchester with every corporeal and incorporeal part of his being? Why-

“Cas?” Cas jerked his head up to see Dean standing above him. “Cas...shit, man. What…?” Dean moved to kneel next to him but Cas stopped him and stood instead, facing him with red-rimmed eyes. Dean faltered for a moment before bringing a hand to Cas’s face. “Cas...buddy, what’s wrong?”

Cas leaned into the touch for a moment and brought his hand up to cover Dean’s, threading their fingers together. He watched as Dean’s eyes stuck on their interlaced fingers, then sighed. He pulled Dean’s hand away from his face. “It’s nothing, Dean.”

“Dude, it’s _obviously_ something.” Cas shook his head and made to leave. Dean stopped him and pinned him to the wall, stepping in close, ignoring any sense of “personal space” that he once would have demanded. It irritated Cas. What did Dean want from him? And would he even…

Castiel scowled. “Would you stand this close if Sam were here?”

That surprised Dean. He sucked in a quick breath and stepped back. “I...what does that...dude, what are you talking about?”

“This, Dean.” Cas took Dean’s hand and pulled it back to him, returning it to its earlier position of his cheek. “Sometimes...you touch me like this, or like this…” he raised his other hand to the back of Dean’s neck, thumb tracing lines on the side of it, fingers reaching up into short hair, “but only when noone’s looking. What does it mean, Dean?”

Dean stood with mouth gaping, seemingly unable to find words. His eyes were full of the same pain that Cas himself was so familiar with. “Cas, I…” He shut his mouth and swallowed, not finding a response. 

“I want to dance with you, Dean.”

Dean let out a shaky laugh. “What?”

“I want to dance with you...and let people see. I want to hold your hand when we walk. I want to tell you that I love you. I want to tell _everyone_ that I love you. I want to scream it out for them to know that no being in existence has ever loved anyone more than I have loved you. Dean, I...why can’t we be like that? Dean-”

Whatever else Cas was going to say was cut off as he found himself again crowded against the wall with Dean pressed close. “Cas…” Dean’s eyes played over his face. His fingers traced the same patterns...up to his hairline, down along his jaw, brushed gently over his lips. His fingers cupped Cas’s jaw as his eyes slowly came back up to meet Cas’s. “I’m no good at this, Cas.”

“At what, Dean?”

“At loving you. Because I do. I need you. I love you so god damn much, but...I don’t know how to do it without hurting you. I’m scared, Cas.”

“Dean…” But Dean’s lips were on his, barely, timidly, chastely, but they were _there_. They moved slowly, testing. Cas sighed into it, returning it just as softly. Dean pulled away with a shy look on his face.

“Um, I just realized that you never said in that list of things that you actually wanted to kiss me…”

Cas let out a soft laugh and pulled Dean back to him, pressing their lips together, wrapping his arms around Dean’s back and running his hands over it gently. Dean’s arms wound themselves around Cas as well. One had found it’s way into Cas’s hair and pulled him tighter, deepening the kiss. Cas smiled against Dean’s lips. “I love you, Dean...in unreasonable amounts.”

“I...I love you too, Cas...so much.”

Cas hummed and buried his face into Dean’s neck. They stood there like that for a moment, just holding each other, enjoying the feel of it before Dean lifted Cas’s chin for one more small kiss, took his hand, and began pulling him towards the door.

“Dean? What are-”

Dean turned back with a shy smile. “I, uh...think I owe you a dance.”


	2. Kiss You on the Dance Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They dance
> 
> AND OMC WINCHESTER_RELOAD DID ART FOR IT (added at the bottom)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't originally gonna post this part...but I'm weak. Hope you enjoy.

Dean paused outside Jody’s front door, dropped his chin to his chest, and worked to steady himself. Cas’s squeezed his hand.

“Dean...it’s okay if you don’t-”

“No, Cas. I’m nervous, not unsure.” Dean turned to face his own personal miracle. He gave Cas a small smile, then dropped his hand to wrap his arm around Cas’s shoulders, pulling him close and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “Come on. Let’s get back to our family.” He took Cas’s hand again and pushed the door open, pulling Cas through it behind him. 

He wasn’t nervous of what anyone would think. Dean knew that no one in this room would be judgmental, or even surprised really. Obviously he and Cas were in love. Everyone knew it. It was just that people seeing them together like this made this thing between him and Cas that they had danced around so long...it made it _official_ , made it _real._ If it was real then he could break it. As long as it was not acted upon, not realized, this thing was safe. But safe wasn’t enough anymore. 

Dean pulled Cas into the living room where the others were dancing. He pulled Cas to him, wrapping his arms around him and began moving to the slow song that was playing. He rested his forehead against Cas’s with his eyes closed, fighting the whole time to calm his nerves. Cas’s hands gently squeezed at his sides. 

“Dean...are you okay?” 

“Yeah, Cas. I just…” Dean opened his eyes to meet the ones that he could lose himself in forever. Those eyes were troubled. _Shit._ Dean’s fear was hurting Cas. It was making Cas think that he didn’t want this. He _did_. Dammit, he did. He had for years. He’s just a damn coward is all. Dean set his jaw. No more. 

Instead of finishing his sentence, he wound his hand into Cas’s mess of unruly, dark hair and crushed their lips together. Fuck cowardice. Fuck loving Cas from the shadows, never acting on it, never admitting it. Fuck the fear of breaking things. He and Cas were cosmic and would always gravitate to each other no matter what shit either of them did. And if anyone was strong enough to handle Dean Winchester, it was Castiel, angel of humanity.

And so Dean kissed Cas in the middle of the living room, with their entire family dancing around them. Because this huge, epic, cosmic love that had existed for so long between them deserved to not be homeless anymore. They belonged together, to each other, and there was really no point in denying it. It was time, and the way that Cas was melting against him, hands clinging to Dean’s back, lips moving against Dean’s...nothing had ever been more perfect, more good, more right.

He broke the kiss only when he heard a series of whistles and whoops from the other side of the room. Laughing, he looked up to see Sam grinning at them. Eileen stood next to him signing something at Sam that Dean didn’t really catch, but it looked awful smug. He heard Jody’s voice behind him. 

“It’s about time, boys!”

Donna spoke up beside her. “Yanno, I think I’ve never been happier to owe anyone a twenty.” 

Jody shook her head and bumped Donna’s arm. “I mean, it’s not like all that tension could hold out forever...though I was kind of starting to worry.” She crossed the room to them, gave them both a quick hug, and went to refill her and Donna’s drinks.

He spotted Claire sitting off to the side with Jack. “She’s right old man. It’s about damn time.” 

Jack looked very confused next to her. After a moment, Jack turned to Claire and asked, “What does everyone mean that ‘it’s about time’? Are they...not married?” That earned a solid laugh from Dean and Claire spewed her drink, then looked at him incredulously. Dean could feel more than hear Cas chuckling beside him.

Dean looked back to Cas, who was wearing the biggest, gummiest grin he’d ever seen on the angel. Dean kissed it and pulled Cas back into his arms, sighing happily. “You know, now that I have you here, I’m gonna have a hard time standing any other way.”

Cas laughed and leveled him with a serious look. “Perhaps I should talk to you about ‘personal space.’”

Dean barked a laugh. “Nah. It’s overrated.”

“Hhmm,” Cas pretended to think for a moment, “agreed. This will, however, make hunts considerably more difficult.”

“We’ll figure it out. My arms are already too used to you to let go.” Dean watched a rare blush creep across Cas’s cheeks. Dean kissed that too. His own face felt hot as well, but he ignored it and buried his face into Cas’s hair as they continued moving to the music. His eyes wandered over Cas’s shoulder to Sam, dancing with Eileen. He was so happy for his brother. From the way that Sam caught his eyes, grinned, and winked at him, it seemed that Sam knew something of that feeling.

Dean may have caught the bouquet later.

Eileen may have slung it directly at his face.

**Author's Note:**

> The title/inspiration for this ficlet came from Secret Love Song Pt II by Little Mix. @aloha-cowgirl brought that song to my attention earlier, and I have not been able to get it out of my head since.
> 
> Why can't I hold you in the street?  
> Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
> I wish that it could be like that  
> Why can't it be like that?  
> 'Cause I'm yours
> 
> Why can't I say that I'm in love?  
> I wanna shout it from the rooftops  
> I wish that it could be like that  
> Why can't it be like that?  
> 'Cause I'm yours
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr if you'd like  
> https://rauko-is-a-free-elf.tumblr.com/


End file.
